It's Pat!
No, not that lame Julia Sweeney character she parlayed into a lamer feature length movie back in 1994. Shit Lorne Michaels has been doing for almost 30 years just so Comedy Central has content to cover those hot useless Saturday afternoons in July.
No it's Pat Robertson. Yeah, that one. The bag of pus who basically agreed with that other bag of pus Jerry Falwell who said that we were attacked on September 11, 2001 because we had it comin'. You know because America, the most church goin' nation on earth. The America where 85% of its citizens say they believe in a merciful, just and loving God. Well, America had turned it's back on God because of the ACLU and the abortionists and feminists and pagan environmentalists and shit. You know basically the 48% of the national electorate. All 51 million of us. We had it comin'. Like a passed out sorority girl who gets gang raped on the 2nd floor bedroom in the Sigma Phi house because she was rockin' those tight tight jeans in the bar downstairs. She had it comin'. And so did we.
I guess he kind of agrees with Osama there.
That Pat Robertson belched out on his 700 Club yesterday that America should, as a matter of state policy set out to murder the duly elected President of Venezuela. A guy currently holding office with a 70% job approval rating. No, really, Media Matters has the whole thing, they always do. The Reverend Pat Robertson who ran for the Republican nomination for President in 1992 ( so don't give my any of that just another private citizen shit, fucker has his own netowrk) explicitly advocated assassination of President Chavez.
And what, pray tell, is President Chavez exact crime? Hmmm? Did he order the executions of hundreds of thousands of his fellow Venezuelans? Are there mass graves ringing Caracas containing the dusty bones and mangled corpses of these innocent citizens? No. Has he launched any preemptive wars against his neighbors Colombia, Guyana, or Brazil? No, not so much, no. Not at all, really. Did he mail anthrax to the National Enquirer or CBS News. Well, not that we know of, no. But pretty unlikely.
So why, oh why, did Reverend Shitbrick order his execution. Because, because, well, there's just no other way to say it Hugo hearts Fidel. That's it. Pretty much. Oh, and Venezuela has oil, lots of it. And Hugo doesn't heart the US Government either. More precisely he doesn't care much for our own dear Kristian Kultural Konservative Leader the Right Hand of God hisself President Shrub. I'm pretty sure that the rest of us 291 million Americans are OK with him, it's pretty much just Shrub and Shitbrick at this point.
Look, this is our future boys and girls. We're gonna need that oil, us and the Chinese and the Indians. And if'n we have to pop a few heads of state well, in the words of Tom Cruise, "Matt, Matt, Matt, you just don't understand about these things..." And Jesus will bless us for doing it according to this cornpone Soprano Reverend Robertson.
And right about now I'm wondering what exactly is the difference between Shitbrick and Osama. Well, Shitbrick can issue his fatwas from the comfort of his own network and only goes home to one wife.
Fuck the Bill of Rights, I need to fill up my Hummer.
I gotta go.
No it's Pat Robertson. Yeah, that one. The bag of pus who basically agreed with that other bag of pus Jerry Falwell who said that we were attacked on September 11, 2001 because we had it comin'. You know because America, the most church goin' nation on earth. The America where 85% of its citizens say they believe in a merciful, just and loving God. Well, America had turned it's back on God because of the ACLU and the abortionists and feminists and pagan environmentalists and shit. You know basically the 48% of the national electorate. All 51 million of us. We had it comin'. Like a passed out sorority girl who gets gang raped on the 2nd floor bedroom in the Sigma Phi house because she was rockin' those tight tight jeans in the bar downstairs. She had it comin'. And so did we.
I guess he kind of agrees with Osama there.
That Pat Robertson belched out on his 700 Club yesterday that America should, as a matter of state policy set out to murder the duly elected President of Venezuela. A guy currently holding office with a 70% job approval rating. No, really, Media Matters has the whole thing, they always do. The Reverend Pat Robertson who ran for the Republican nomination for President in 1992 ( so don't give my any of that just another private citizen shit, fucker has his own netowrk) explicitly advocated assassination of President Chavez.
And what, pray tell, is President Chavez exact crime? Hmmm? Did he order the executions of hundreds of thousands of his fellow Venezuelans? Are there mass graves ringing Caracas containing the dusty bones and mangled corpses of these innocent citizens? No. Has he launched any preemptive wars against his neighbors Colombia, Guyana, or Brazil? No, not so much, no. Not at all, really. Did he mail anthrax to the National Enquirer or CBS News. Well, not that we know of, no. But pretty unlikely.
So why, oh why, did Reverend Shitbrick order his execution. Because, because, well, there's just no other way to say it Hugo hearts Fidel. That's it. Pretty much. Oh, and Venezuela has oil, lots of it. And Hugo doesn't heart the US Government either. More precisely he doesn't care much for our own dear Kristian Kultural Konservative Leader the Right Hand of God hisself President Shrub. I'm pretty sure that the rest of us 291 million Americans are OK with him, it's pretty much just Shrub and Shitbrick at this point.
Look, this is our future boys and girls. We're gonna need that oil, us and the Chinese and the Indians. And if'n we have to pop a few heads of state well, in the words of Tom Cruise, "Matt, Matt, Matt, you just don't understand about these things..." And Jesus will bless us for doing it according to this cornpone Soprano Reverend Robertson.
And right about now I'm wondering what exactly is the difference between Shitbrick and Osama. Well, Shitbrick can issue his fatwas from the comfort of his own network and only goes home to one wife.
Fuck the Bill of Rights, I need to fill up my Hummer.
I gotta go.
posted by The Vulgarian @ 10:33 PM
2 Comments:
At 12:52 PM,
Anonymous said…
Let's see, which moniker should I pick up from you for this guy... shitbrick? Cornpone Soprano Reverend Robertson? I'll just invent my own favorite: P-Rob. That P's been a bit lonely since Diddy dropped it about a week ago anyway.
I just want to know what cereal P-Rob's gonna eat on the morning he reads the news that seven missionaries have been murdered in Venezuela. Or some oil rig parts supplier on a good will slash sales junket visit to said country doesn't show up on his return flight. Or a couple of ex-pats with nothing but love for Hugo's hometown suddenly get a knock on their door from some grass roots anger mismanagement squad fresh from another translated screening of the soon to be popular bootleg copy of The 700-Club.
How will your milk sound as it pours into the bowl on that morning, P-Rob? Will your coffee be piping hot and sweetened? Certainly creamed, I'm sure, as its natural color is not allowed in your presence. Will your collar be comfortable, and your neighbor's leaf blower silenced for you? And will you be looking forward to another day serving a God that heals the world by lavishing greater and greater comforts on you and greasing the skids for your fave supreme court nominees?
Gosh I hope your breakfast is tasty that morning. Mine's gonna go down like a cold lard-laced mud pocket, again. But don't you worry, I'll manage. And I'll do my duty as mourner for those you sentenced to death so you can go about your day peacefully and find another verbal nuke to drop on our front door.
Have a peachy day, P-Rob. I can't wait to hear from you again.
At 9:53 PM,
Anonymous said…
holy shit. blog spam. joeflynn whatever. thaanks for the insightful comment. of course your dating website is a logical extension of what's been said here. thank god you exist. now crawl away and smell up someone else's room.
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